The Monster Blog

Hillary Clinton’s Lessons for Working Women

“Iron my shirt.”

Yes, a man actually said that to Hillary Clinton at a campaign stop. It’s huge that she made it as far in the 2008 presidential campaign as she did, but as that barb and this MSNBC article point out (which contains photographic proof of the ironing remark), her historic campaign revealed that, as far as working women have come in the workplace, a lot more work needs to be done.

Says the article:

(Mary) Gatta (director of work force policy and research at Rutgers University’s Center for Women and Work) thinks one very positive thing to come from Clinton’s campaign is that working women saw that the kind of things they experience in the workplace -- whether it is overtly sexist jokes or more subtle barbs -- are also experienced even by a woman at the highest career levels.

“I think women related to Hillary on that, that in their own lives they’ve experienced different degrees of sexism,” she said.

As a working woman, I know I face different issues in the workplace than my husband, brother or father do. And while overt name-calling is usually not part of the workplace, sexism can be more covert. The article goes on to say:

Gatta thinks Clinton’s campaign highlighted the more subtle ways in which women are undermined in the workplace. For example, Clinton was often referred to by her first, rather than her last, name -- the same thing that often happened to Carly Fiorina during her tumultuous tenure as head of Hewlett-Packard. Gatta, who has the same experience herself sometimes, thinks that can be a way of taking a woman less seriously.

And then there are the stone-cold facts. Women still earn less than men. The MSNBC article refers to a report by women’s advocacy group the InterOrganization Network that shows 14.8 percent of board seats in Fortune 500 companies are held by women, while 11.8 percent of Fortune 500 companies have all-male boards. And then there’s the gender stereotyping -- that a woman needs to act (and dress) like a man to get ahead. Remember the bugaboo over Clinton’s cleavage? Do you think McCain or Obama wearing a certain suit or tie would have made such headlines?

Clinton’s strength as a working woman was shown in the graciousness of her defeat. She fought hard, but when winning became impossible, she joined with her former rival Obama in the name of party unity -- symbolically, in the town of Unity, New Hampshire. Such grace and class are a credit to her gender. If women could unite and fight for complete equality in the workplace, imagine what we could accomplish?

For more on what you can learn about your own job search from the 2008 presidential campaign, check out this article. And here are more resources about working women:

• From the Monster Blog: “Why Not More Women Leaders?”
• From the Monster Blog: “Equality for Women in the Workplace?”
• “Unique Networks for Women”
• “How Women Best Handle Put-Downs”

How Becoming a Working Mom Has Changed Me

After years of reading about issues facing working mothers, at the beginning of April I became one myself. It’s not an easy job, working and raising a family. So with Mother’s Day this month, I starting thinking about how being a working mother has transformed the way I live and work.

Becoming a mom, and especially a working one, has made me a morning person, like it or not. I no longer just roll out of bed and go to work. I need to get another little person up, changed and out the door.

The work that goes along with motherhood, coupled with the demands of my job, can really tire me out -- now I understand Thad’s post about his exhaustion from a few years ago. It’s been important (and not easy) for me to put my pride aside and ask for help when I need it, whether it be from my husband, my mother-in-law or my own mom.

As every parent knows, raising a child is not a 9-to-5 job. When my son is up in the night, the next day at work can be difficult. I’ve learned to live on fractured sleep, naps when I can take them and caffeine.

Having a child has also changed the way I work. Knowing my workday could be pierced by a call saying my son is sick and needs to be picked up (it hasn’t happened yet, but it’s only a matter of time), I’ve learned to triage the tasks I can only do in the office first. It’s also made me more efficient time-wise -- not only do I work a compressed schedule, but I have a hard stop at the end of every day, since my son needs to be picked up.

Finally, and most importantly, I think becoming a mom, and particularly a working one, has put my career in balance and perspective for me. My job is still important, sure, but so is being there for my son. He’s one of the main reasons I work, after all.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms -- we all work, whether we have a job outside the home or not. And feel free to tell us about your experience of being a working mom in the comments below.

Top 5 Things to Do When Returning from Maternity Leave

This is my first week back in the office after three months off caring for my son, who was born at the beginning of January. It’s been a strange and stressful week -- everything is somewhat the same, but a lot has changed while I was on maternity leave. And yet, as painful as it was to put my son in day care (I’m working a compressed three-day schedule), being back at work is almost comforting in its familiarity. After all, I’ve been a mom for three months; I’ve done my job for three-plus years.

According to this Career Journal article about getting back to work after maternity leave, the first 90 days should be a time of easing back into your job and reestablishing connections. In that vein, here are five things I’ve done for myself that I think have softened my return. They might help you if you’re in the same situation:

• Schedule Meetings with Everyone: It’s fun to catch up about the baby, but it’s also good to find out what everyone’s working on, where projects stand and how you’ll fit into the new equation.


• Establish Some Duties Right Away: You’ll want to ease back in, sure, but it’s good to have something to work on to get those feet wet.


• Read: This includes corporate communications, new departmental documentation and news about the company. This will help you get caught up on the way things are now, not how they were three months ago.


• Touch Base with Your Child: The transition back isn’t just difficult for moms -- it’s hard for a baby who doesn’t understand why someone new is caring for him. I’m fortunate to have a day care center right in the building, but even if I didn’t have the option of going down for a visit, I’d call so he could hear my voice.


• Go Easy on Yourself: Just like when you became a mom, you’re going through a big transition. Try to schedule some downtime every day.

For more on this subject, check out these Monster resources:

• “Returning After a Leave”
  


• “Pregnancy and Your Job”
  


• From the Monster Blog: “What I Learned During Maternity Leave”

With Maternity Leave, the Waiting Is the Hardest Part

I’m 38 weeks pregnant this week, and I’ve been preparing for maternity leave most of this year. Here are just a few things I’ve done:

• Filed my forms with HR.
  

• Documented my responsibilities and made a handoff plan for when I’m gone, introducing my temporary replacements to the people they’ll need to work with in my absence.
  

• Forwarded so many emails out of my box that it’s groaning under the weight of all this data transfer, cleaned my desk and had my work shower.

Now it’s time for the baby to come -- the one thing I can’t control. But I think I’m prepared, and I hope my coworkers feel the same way.

So I have a question for you moms out there: How did you handle those last few weeks at work, where leave was staring you in the face but you had no idea when it was coming? Tips? Ideas?

While I wait, I’ll be checking out these Monster resources. I invite you to do the same:

• “Prepare Early for Maternity Leave”
  

• From the Monster Blog: “Five Things My Friend -- and Other Expecting Mothers -- Should Do This Week”

Attention Working Moms: Reach Out for Support

I won’t be entering the realm of motherhood for another month or so, but I can already see that being a mother is hard work, as is maintaining a career while raising a family. A mom can get burned out really quickly doing both.

I was thrilled when we put together these articles about how working moms can band together to support one another. Check it out for info on finding a mentor at work, negotiating a flexible schedule, getting your employer to accommodate your needs as a working mother and more.

So remember, working moms, especially at this hectic time of year: You don’t have to do it all on your own -- there’s help available. Check out these articles to get started.

Female Absenteeism: It’s Not Always Why You Think

Statistically speaking, women are absent from work more often than men. The knee-jerk reaction: They’re caring for the kids. Indeed, according to this article, married and unmarried women with children report more absences than their childless counterparts. (Interestingly enough, married men with children report fewer absences than those without children.)

But hold on: There’s more going on here than just family getting in the way of work. The article goes on to say: “[Eric] Patton and his coauthor Gary Johns found that elevated absentee rates for women could not be fully explained by health, family or job issues. Instead the researcher postulated that social expectations have created an ‘absence culture’ for women that may be a factor.”

Absence culture? Not according to this mom, interviewed for the story: “Lauren, a Cleveland mother of two teenage daughters, finds she can never call in sick because she’s worried about how it will be perceived at the equipment company she works for. ‘Even when my daughters are sick, even when I'm sick, even when I have a myriad of pressing problems, even when I have the cable guy coming to the house or the chimney sweeper or the plumber, even when my mother is sick and needs me, even when my father-in-law is in the hospital, I don't call in sick,’ she says.”

My personal theory on why women are absent more often: They are more likely to do the right thing and stay in bed when they don’t feel well. While there will always be those who abuse the system -- male or female -- I think staying home when you’re sick is something to be encouraged.

And as for women who need to take time off to take care of the kids? As long as the work is getting done, employers should be more sympathetic. It makes for better work/life balance and as a result, happier, more productive employees. And when they can, dads need to step up to the plate to share the load.

For more on this subject, check out these Monster resources:

• “How Employers Can Accommodate New Mothers at Work”
  
• From the Monster Blog: “Work/Life Balance Is Everyone's Issue”

Is Crying at Work for Men Only?

Last week, the Yankees were eliminated from the first round of the postseason for the third year in a row. As a result, speculation that the loss means the end of the line for longtime team manager Joe Torre was started by Yanks owner George Steinbrenner.

While I’m a steadfast member of Red Sox Nation by birth, I think that’s sad, considering Torre is not only a class act but one of the best managers in baseball. Even Red Sox manager Terry Francona has stepped up to the plate to voice his support for Torre. But one person who took Torre’s potential exit particularly hard -- on a public stage -- was Yankees announcer Suzyn Waldman. In the postgame show after the loss, Waldman broke down in tears on the air. As you might expect, Waldman’s professionalism and objectivity were called into question, and the backlash was profound.

Here are just a few big-name athletes and coaches who have teared up for all to see: Brett Favre, Dick Vermeil, Keyshawn Johnson, Roger Federer and Tiger Woods. What do these people have in common? That’s right; they’re all men. As this Sports Illustrated article points out, “What's odd is that we admire tears in men but not in women. Men who cry are ‘sensitive.’ Women who cry are ‘weak.’”

And this concept seems to stretch across sports and even politics -- for example, the SI article includes the following quote:

“When former Congresswoman Pat Schroeder cried during her 1987 exploratory run for president, critics said she set back women's chances for the White House by 20 years. After that she collected pictures of men crying. She finally stopped, she says, ‘in the hundreds,’ but not before her gallery included pictures of red-eyed Pete Sampras, Wayne Gretzky and Dan Reeves, to say nothing of Ronald Reagan, John Sununu and Gary Hart. ‘For men, crying has become this mandatory rite of passage,’ Schroeder says, ‘but for women, it's still not OK.’”

I hate this double standard. I’m an emotional person, and if I need to cry at work, I do. While my husband, whose chronic illness provoked a lot of tears a few years back, is doing much better, there’s unfortunately always something to cry about. But if you’re a woman, keeping in mind the realities of the workplace, there are smart ways to go about it:

• If a good cry is inevitable, try to go into the bathroom or otherwise get away from your desk. Sometimes a change of scenery can stop the waterworks. And even if it doesn’t, the move will give you some privacy.
• Take deep breaths. This will help keep you calm.
• If you get caught crying, don’t apologize. Pull yourself together, if possible, and go on with your day.

For more on this subject, check out these Monster articles:

• “Crying at Work”
• “How Women Best Handle Put-Downs”

My Top 10 Wishes for Working Parents

Sunday is Working Parents Day, and it’s got me thinking: What would be my top ten wishes for working parent support? Below is my list, in no particular order of priority. Feel free to add to it as you deem fit.

·        An End to the “Should She or Shouldn’t She?” Working Mother Debate: Moms seek employment for the same reasons everyone else does. We need to stop wasting our energy on whether they “should” work and start focusing on how we can support men and women who have dependent care.

·        Supportive Bosses: Research suggests that a supportive boss can make or break your job. In my own research of some 200-plus women for my book, The Mom Economy, a supportive boss was the only common denominator among every woman who said she had very or extremely family-friendly work.

·        Paid Maternity/Paternity Leave: After adopting or giving birth to a child, every parent should be able to take leave. If that leave is not paid, some cannot. Men should get paid paternity leave too.

·        Greater Use of Alternative Work Arrangements Without Penalty: As Sylvia Ann Hewlett points out in her book Off-Ramps and On-Ramps, we need to rethink paths of advancement. Careers tend to take off during the child-rearing years, when women tend to scale back. Retirement is occurring later, job tenures are shorter, and alternative work arrangements like telecommuting and flexible schedules are becoming more common. We need to be able to pursue these options and still advance.

·        A New School Calendar: Three-month summers and short school days worked fine when Mom stayed home. Now, for working parents, summer vacations and after-school care is a scramble at best. Once more, the length of the summer holiday means children often regress. Everyone -- children and adults alike -- would benefit from a new school calendar year. Teachers would have to be paid more, but that too is long overdue.

·        A Supportive Spouse: It’s much easier to be a working parent when the other parent is involved, both emotionally and physically. This involvement includes sharing household chores and childcare responsibilities.

·        A Support Network: I have a great neighbor. When I’m stuck, she helps me out. When she’s stuck, I try to do the same. I wish that for everyone.

·        On-Site Childcare or Childcare Assistance That Includes School-Age Care: On-site school-age care? Now, that’s a novel concept. I don’t know how to do it, but can’t it be done? And while employers are providing some form of childcare assistance, can they please make a place for breast-feeding moms?

·        College Savings Plans: With the cost of college rising, saving for our kids’ college is not only important, but growing more difficult. Note to employers: Openly offer plans, promote them and make them as available as a retirement plan -- complete with a company match.

·        Universal Healthcare Coverage: No one should go without healthcare, especially kids.

For related information, check out these additional Monster resources:

·        “Tips for Working Mothers”

From the Monster Blog:

·        “Working Mothers: Stop Feeling Guilty”

·        “‘Hurray for Snow Days?’ Asks This Working Mom”

·        “A Good Guide for Working Fathers: Daddy Blogs”

Feeling the Elder Care Squeeze on Grandparents Day?

Sunday is Grandparents Day. I don’t know about you, but I think a lot about my parents (my children’s grandparents) these days, and not all of it is positive. I’m a member of what is now being called the Sandwich Generation, middle-aged workers squeezed by the needs of their children and their parents. Select employers are going some way in mitigating that pressure through flexible schedules for employees and flexible spending accounts for their dependent adults. Still, I look ahead and see the pressure, if anything, increasing as my parents’ health deteriorates and their needs increase.

The odd thing is that I never anticipated this, at least not so soon. Middle age, I thought, would be all about meeting my children’s needs. I know I’m not alone. Colleagues and friends my age are also facing unexpected elder care issues, and those who don’t would be wise to reassess.

What isn’t clear to me, however, is what we or our employers could be doing differently to address these burgeoning demands. The reality, I fear, is that it’s too late now to mitigate our elder parents’ demands. All I can do is save, plan and hope that my own children don’t face these same demands.

Check out these related Monster resources:

• “Elder Care Accountants Manage Baby Boomers’ Finances”
  


• “Understand Today’s Benefits”

For more information, check out our Work/Life Balance section.

The More You Apologize, the More You Earn?

A few weeks ago a press release crossed my desk touting a study of 7,590 Americans that found that high earners apologize twice as often as low earners. The conclusion: “The more you apologize, the more you earn.”

Last night in bed, I found myself unable to reconcile the corporate titan persona with this finding. So I returned to the press release that contained the survey by pollsters Zogby for The Pearl Outlet, an online wholesale pearl retailer that commissioned the poll “after noticing that a growing number of customers were buying pearls as a way to say sorry.”

Don't be mislead. The study does not suggest that these high-earner apologies extend to coworkers, only to significant others. In fact, says Liz Cornish, author of Hit the Ground Running, women’s tendency to apologize too much at work holds them back.

If there is a take from this survey, it is that more apologies at home -- not at work -- may have some sort of correlation to earnings and also, it seems, to marriage. (The same study also reportedly found that married Americans are twice as likely as single or divorced ones to apologize to their significant others after an argument.)

But don't put a whole lot of stock in the ability of apologies (or for that matter, alcohol) to boost your pay, regardless of what they do to your marriage. If you want to earn more, learn to negotiate a better salary instead. Here are some articles that can help:

• “Salary Negotiation Know-How"
• “Ask for the Raise You Want”
• “Five Negotiating No-Nos”

For more negotiating advice, visit our Negotiation section.

Equality for Women in the Workplace?

August 26 is Women’s Equality Day, which this year happens to fall on a Sunday. In commemoration of this holiday, President George Bush pays tribute to this nation’s suffragists, to pioneers such as Margaret Chase Smith and Sandra Day O'Connor, to women in public service and to “American women who have opened doors of opportunity for women of future generations.”

Sometimes, in our effort to advance equality, we lose sight of how much women have achieved, particularly in regards to the workplace. Less than 50 years ago, before the establishment of the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC), which effectively gave teeth to antidiscrimination initiatives, women held little sway in the workplace. But since the EEOC’s establishment, both women’s labor participation rates and their standing within the workplace have made significant gains.

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, only about 43 percent of women aged 16 or older were in the workforce in 1970. For the last seven years, that figure has been hovering around 60 percent. In 2004, women held half of all management, professional and related occupations, and their earnings were roughly 80 percent of men’s.

Progress still needs to be made. As the 2006 Catalyst Census points out, even though women make up more than 50 percent of the management, professional and related occupations, only 15.6 percent of Fortune 500 corporate officers and 14.6 percent of Fortune 500 board directors are women.

But this Sunday, let’s not lose sight of the fact that despite setbacks and the challenges that lie ahead, many women have successfully worked, and continue to work, for greater equality. In fact, in one recent study in the New York Times, women aged 21-30 in certain cities were reported to actually be earning more than men. Yes, historically those earning ratios have moved in the other direction once women reach their 30s, but these findings suggest that pioneers can still be found, even today.

For more on equality in the workplace, check out “Where is the Progress for Women in the Workplace?” And if you’re a working mom, check out these articles on achieving balance while taking care of your career.

For related blogs on the study in the New York Times, go to:

·         “For Young Earners in Big City, Gap Shifts in Women’s Favor”

·         “Income Gap Shift in Women in Urban Women’s Favor”

For Hillary, ‘Girl Power’ and Cleavage Don’t Mix

"Frankly, focusing on women's bodies instead of their ideas is insulting. It's insulting to every woman who has ever tried to be taken seriously in a business meeting. It's insulting to our daughters -- and our sons -- who are constantly pressured by the media to grow up too fast.”

This was how Ann Lewis, a senior advisor to Hillary Clinton, reacted to Robin Givhan’s column that appeared in the Washington Post a couple weeks ago . The fashion writer dedicated some 700 words to Hillary’s cleavage as seen in a C-SPAN debate from the Senate floor, sparking quite a ro(bust) debate.

Jokes aside, I’m not here to rant and rave about what the media should or should not be focusing on. And I’m not here to berate Mrs. Clinton on her choice of attire. Google “Hillary Clinton’s cleavage” and you’ll have quite enough to read on both topics.

What interests me is Lewis’s quote. For me, what Lewis had to say relates, as it brings up one of the biggest contradictions women, perhaps Gen-Y women especially, have had to face. Growing up under the umbrella of second- and third-wave feminism, I saw my own mother go to her high-powered upper-management job every morning for the better part of my childhood. In school, I was taught women could do anything men could. Politicians, teachers, mentors -- just about everyone made it clear it’s not about how you look, it’s about how you think and what you do.

In retrospect, all of that was encouraging and played an important part in how I carry myself today. Yet at the same time, the media conveyed a similar message via bands like the Spice Girls, who encouraged “girl power” as they strutted around in no more than bras and booty shorts. Artists like Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera and Destiny’s Child are all guilty of this as well -- perhaps subliminally sending the message that “girl power” equates to dressing provocatively.

And yet clearly, it doesn’t. All of the debate surrounding Hillary’s neckline is another example of this paradox. In theory, it just shouldn’t matter what Hillary wears; people should be listening to what she has to say. But it does matter. And it’s an important lesson to women. The fact is there are certain ways women should dress in the office if they expect to move up the corporate ladder. Penelope Trunk touched upon this last week.

Do I agree with these unspoken guidelines? Certainly not. Do I think Hillary’s neckline was inappropriate? Not really. But am I insulted by the attention her cleavage has been given? More like disappointed. I think it speaks to a larger issue. Just consider the contrasting messages girls grow up with surrounding women’s empowerment, and never mind insulted -- you probably won’t even be surprised.   

Check out these Monster resources for more on women at work:

• “How Women Can Battle the Stereotypes”

• “Cracking Down the Business Casual Dress Code”

• “How Women Best Handle Put-Downs”

 
Related Blogs

• The Trail: “Let the Cleavage Conversation Begin”

• Peter Smith: “Tightrope Discovered in Hillary’s Cleavage” 

 

Will I Have to Choose Between a Job and a Career?

As a young person, I certainly have career ambitions. Throughout college, new ideas and opportunities were thrown at me almost daily, each contributing to a churning sense of excitement about what I wanted to do once I graduated. As a young woman, however, I do have questions. For whom? Probably mostly for myself, but today, I’m asking you.

But let me back up a bit. I spent last weekend with a friend and her family at the beach. While sitting by the ocean surrounded by a strange mix of diapers, pails and a sandy BlackBerry, I had a conversation with my friend’s aunt, who has a high-powered job at a financial firm downtown. We started talking about my work situation and what I want to do with my life (shocker). I have always admired this woman; she has three children, she works full-time, and she is so indispensable to her company that they allow her to work from home one day a week.

I mentioned all the buzz I’d been reading about moms who find part-time work ideal. Her response, which has resonated with me, was that while part-time work affords more flexibility, and certainly more time to be with kids, she doesn’t think it allows you to have a career. (“Career: A field for or pursuit of consecutive progressive achievement especially in a public, professional or business life,” says Merriam-Webster’s.)

“What does that mean?” I asked. She responded by saying she loves spending time with her kids, and she feels lucky to be able to work from home, but she also loves going to work everyday and being available for those who need her at the office. She talked a bit about how working part-time can be restrictive in terms of developing as a professional (consecutive progressive achievement?) and often, it can just be a “show up for the designated hours, put in the time, and go home” type of thing.

So my question is: What is the difference between a job and a career? Does working part-time prevent you from having a career? I guess I’m just confused and frankly, a bit frustrated, and I’m not the only one.

Someday (a long way off) I want to have a family. And I want to be there for them. But I also want to have an invigorating professional life. People (not just women) find ways to balance family and work all the time. But what is the difference between going to work and investing in a career?

Here are some other Monster resources that touch upon this:

• “The Working Mother’s Balancing Act”
• “Ready to Go Part-Time as a Working Mom?”
• “Longer Work Hours Stress Families”
• From the Monster Blog: “What Does It Take to Go Part-Time?” 
• From the Monster Blog: “Just a Job or a Career?”

 Related Blogs

•  Working Moms Against Guilt: “Reality Sets in for Working Moms” 
• Penelope Trunk’s Brazen Careerist: “Don’t Tell Me About Admirable Moms”
• PunditMom: “Missing the Point” 

What Does It Take to Go Part-Time?

In 1989, Felice Schwartz, the founder of the women’s nonprofit group Catalyst, wrote a paper advocating that companies establish nontraditional career paths for women, such as part-time and flextime. For her suggestion, she was pilloried by women. Believing she had been championing women’s workplace rights, she was devastated.

Fast-forward 20 years. A national survey from the Pew Research says that fully 60 percent of working mothers now say part-time work, rather than full-time, is their ideal. Still, notes the report, the percentage of working mothers who actually work part-time -- 24 percent -- has remained steady since 1997.

Why the low numbers when, according to a 2006-2007 Hewitt Associates survey, 47 percent of major US employers offer part-time employment? One reason for the disparity is the penalties associated with part-time work. Among these are lack of benefits, barriers to career advancement and reduced job security. Also, many traditional part-time jobs, such as those in retail, are often the lowest-paid, rendering the reduced earnings that come with part-time work even less desirable.

Some jobs too just don’t seem to lend themselves to part-time work, such as those that require continual client contact. Many of these are higher-paid, among them jobs in finance and sales.

Still, even in finance and sales jobs, one can find examples of people who have, despite the challenges, managed to secure part-time work.

The bottom line is that in order to reduce the penalties associated with part-time work, perceptions need to change, and the best route to change is through the top. According to the 2004 Catalyst report, Women and Men in US Corporate Leadership: Same Workplace, Different Realities? utilization rates of senior-ranking men and women of part-time arrangements are disproportionately low as compared to the general population. Their survey showed that a mere 1 percent of senior-ranking men and women worked a reduced workload or part-time.

So how can these and other people make part-time arrangements work? By following the lead of those who have successfully done it themselves. In my research of hundreds of women who have negotiated nontraditional arrangements, I have received the following pointers on how to make part-time work:

• Establish Limits: Be sure your job can be done on a part-time basis, setting clear parameters.
  
  
• Underpromise and Overdeliver: Exceed expectations. Don’t overpromise, or you’ll disappoint.
  
  
• Manage Yourself: Block out interruptions. Work as close to 100 percent productive as possible.
  
  
• Think Teamwork: Establish open channels of communication with your colleagues, and provide support when and where you can.
  
  
• Communicate: Communicate your schedule, and keep colleagues abreast of what you’re doing.
  
  
• Be Visible: As you will be at work less, work harder to stay connected.
  
  
• Find an Advocate: Find someone who will pound the table for you. Because you’re not there all the time, you’ll need it.
  
  
• Establish Your Competitive Set: Define yourself as a part-time employee who performs, not as an employee who doesn’t get a full-time job done. Do this by finding where you add value and adding it.
  
  
• Review and Assess: Set up regular reviews with your supervisor. Be willing to discuss changing or altering your approach when necessary.

For more on this subject, check out these related articles:

• "Ready to Go Part-Time as a Working Mom?”
  
  
• "Negotiate a Flexible Schedule”
  
  
• "More Working Moms Dream of Going Part-Time”

What Happens When Dad Stays Home and Mom Works?

At the moment, my husband is between jobs. It’s summer and he’s delighted; the goatee is growing and the sideburns are lengthening. For the first time in 20 years, he can sleep past 5:45 for more than 14 consecutive mornings. Freedom, at long last. Or so you’d think.

Since we’ve had children, I’ve consistently worked shorter hours. The result is that I’ve been the home manager for a dozen years. I’ve organized the children’s schedules, prepared the meals and ferried the children to their weekly activities. Don’t get me wrong: My husband is very supportive and has assumed his fair share of chores. But his work, on average, has required him to be absent from the house for 12 hours a day, limiting his availability when it comes to household tasks.

No longer.

Currently, my husband is in management training. Each morning before I go to work, I leave a list of the day’s tasks and children’s activities, reminding my husband who has to be where when. In the evening, when I return home, he updates me on what’s been accomplished and what has not.

I’m having a hard time letting go, not because I love these tasks but because I worry that if I relinquish all ownership, the tasks won’t get done. Summer reading will be forgotten, dinner won’t be cooked, and the children will go to sleep two hours past their bedtime each night. Those few times I have pulled back, tasks have been overlooked, compelling me -- I've decided -- to reassume my role.

Share the power. That’s what Joe Kelly, the founder of Dads and Daughters once told me. I’ve spent the last dozen years believing I’ve made a concerted effort to do just that. But not until these last two weeks have I really been tested and, at the moment, I deserve a grade of a C-minus, at best.

I don’t think gender is the issue. One of my brothers is a stay-at-home dad, and he exercises similar control of household tasks. No, the reality is that old habits die hard, particularly when we’re so entrenched in our roles. The challenge, I realize, is letting go of the power, irrespective of whether that power is in the public or private domain. At 12 years as head of household, maybe I’ve served one too many terms.

For more information, check out these Monster resources:

• “Tips for Working Mothers”

• “Just Say No”

• “The Working Mothers' Balancing Act”

• From the Monster Blog: “A Good Guide for Working Fathers: Daddy Blogs”

• From the Monster Blog: “Working Mothers: Stop Feeling Guilty”

Also, check out:

• “‘Momblocked’ Mothers Feel Edged Out by Dads”

Do You Take All Your Vacation?

I’m due for vacation in three weeks’ time. In the run-up to it, I’ll be trying to finish as much work as possible so my colleagues have less to oversee. On my return, I’ll be flat-out busy, trying to catch up. That’s not to mention the preparation that needs to occur on the home front. Sometimes, I’m left wondering: Is vacation worth all the work?

According to a report released at the end of last year by Air New Zealand and some former NASA scientists, the answer is an unqualified yes. Among the findings is an 82 percent spike in performance among vacationers.

That message, however, seems to be falling on deaf ears among US workers. According to a Hudson survey, more than half of US workers who get vacation time do not use all of it, and almost one-third say they take less than half of their days off.

Not that Americans, as compared with many other countries’ workers, get much paid time off. In fact, as reported in a CNN Money article, 42 of the 49 countries in a Mercer survey fare better than the US. Typical practice among large US companies is 15 days paid vacation and 10 days of paid holidays for full-time employees with 10 years of tenure.

Once more, point out bloggers like Ryan Healy, many of us still work while on vacation.

Healey argues that working on vacation isn’t a bad thing. In fact, he holds up the company Motley Fool -- where employees have no official vacation days -- as a shining example of a way around the entire problem. Trust your employees to get the work done and they will.

I have never been one not to take my full vacation allotment, even if it means staying home due to financial constraints. Personally, I can’t figure out why more Americans don’t do the same. Is it that they love their jobs too much or their vacations not enough?

For more on vacations, check out these Monster resources:

• “Your Well Deserved Vacation”

• “The Vacation Situation”

• “Get Back from Your Vacation with a Bang”

• “Vacation Smarts”

• From the Monster Blog: “It’s Vacation Time: Go Ahead, You Deserve It”

• From the Monster Blog: “Getting Ready for Vacation"

Breast-Feeding in Public?

"Since the general testing room is shared by multiple examinees, the use of a breast pump inside the testing room during the examination would be disruptive to other examinees and is not permitted. Furthermore, the testing rooms do not provide privacy since they are visually monitored.”

So said Catherine Farmer, the manager of disability services for the National Board of Medical Examiners, to the Boston Globe. Farmer was defending the board’s response to a now widely publicized request by Massachusetts-based Sophie Currier to breast-pump during the nine-hour-long clinical knowledge exam that’s required for a medical degree. The exam allows a total of just 45 minutes in breaks, and the exam’s board has refused to give extra time to Currier -- mother to a seven-week-old -- despite the fact that she needs to pump every two to three hours to reduce the chance of blocked ducts, the discomfort of hard breasts or even the possible risk of infection. The reason for the decision, says Farmer, is breast-feeding is not considered a disability.

Correct me if I’m wrong, nursing mothers out there, but sometimes, it sure feels as if you have a disability based on the difficulties you face. Feed your infant in a public place, and not only do people stare, but some go so far as to suggest that public places shouldn’t accommodate you. That’s what one talk radio announcer was advocating the other morning as I drove into work. Do me a favor, moms, he said. Do that sort of thing at home.

Do me a favor, radio talk announcer, and get off the air. At least, that’s what I told the radio.

It is true that progress is being made. Fourteen states, New Mexico the newest among them, now require both public and private employers to create a clean place for breast-pumping near a mother’s work station. And as the Globe article and other articles point out, some 47 states have laws that protect the rights of nursing mothers in varying capacities. Many of those laws protect the right of mothers to breast-feed in public. Massachusetts, however, has no such law.

Personally, I’m grateful for people like Currier who go further than yelling at a radio in the isolation of their car. Admittedly, this woman is not shy about putting herself in the limelight. She was reportedly featured in a Globe column last year about adults with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and, due to her ADHD and dyslexia, she requested and has been granted twice the usual time to complete the test.

I think Currier should go further still. During those early weeks, if I skipped two feedings, I carried the equivalent of two milk hydrants on my chest. My suggestion to Ms. Currier is to use the extended time to avoid pumping altogether. The result could lead to a very persuasive chorus of complaints advocating for change.

For related information, check out these Monster resources:

• “How Employers Can Accommodate New Mothers at Work”
• From the Monster Blog: “Breast-Feeding at Work”

Related Blogs

• “Mama Knows Breast”
• “Black Breastfeeding Blog”

Summer Solstice: School’s Out, Work’s Not

As of 11 a.m. yesterday, all three of my children were on summer vacation. Part of me is delighted. No more frantic evenings trying to get homework done, backpacks organized and lunches packed. No more midmorning conferences and late-night sports games. No more pestering my husband for not realizing the importance of getting the children into bed on time.

As of June 21st, summer begins. But just as the glass-half-empty side to the summer solstice is that the days are getting shorter, the downside to school vacation is that while the children might be out, work is still in. Due to childcare expenses, my normal weekly ATM withdrawal has been depleted after only three days. Demands for increased television time are already kicking in. By the end of the day today, I’m quite sure “I’m bored” will have been voiced at least once. Not that I’ll be home to hear it.

Several years ago I interviewed and surveyed more than 200 women on what made family-friendly work. My presumption was that I’d find a large number of commonalities among those women who said they had very or extremely family-friendly work. I thought women with family-friendly work would identify common professions, schedules, even ways in which they balanced responsibilities at home and work.

I was wrong. The only commonality among every woman who said she had very or extremely family-friendly work was a supportive boss.

I’m lucky. I have two supportive bosses, and I too would consider my job very or extremely family-friendly. My big challenge, however, is not my employer. My challenge is the way the rest of the world works. School calendars are still constructed as if one parent were not employed. And most volunteer meetings occur midmorning, when both my husband and I are at the office.

I consider myself among the fortunate. I work reduced hours. I have flexibility. I earn more than minimum wage. And still, it’s difficult for me.

In our quest to make workplaces more family-friendly, I firmly believe that we are still overlooking an important piece -- schools. As much as I love summer and the slower pace it affords, the two-and-a-half-month vacation is a relic of an outdated era. Yes, workplaces need to adjust, some more than others. But so do other institutions, like schools and even town halls (mine still requires you appear in person to pick up a multitude of forms). Improving teacher compensation may help in getting schools to stay in session longer, but what else will it take to affect change outside of work?

For more on these issues, check out these Monster resources:

• “Working Mothers”
• “Working Mother Support”
• “Tips for Working Mothers”
• From the Monster Blog: “Working Mothers Stop Feeling Guilty”
• From the Monster Blog: “What’s a Mother’s Work Worth”
• From the Monster Blog: “‘Hurray for Snow Days?’ Asks This Mom”

What Do You Work For?

Lately, I’ve thought a lot about the question in Monster’s current advertising campaign, “Monster Works for Me.” What do you work for? I work because I care, answers a woman I assume is a nurse.  I work to create style, says another.

For me, the answer is not simple, nor is it for many women, it seems. According to data collected by Off-Ramps and On-Ramps author Sylvia Ann Hewlett, money is less of a motivator for women than men. Several other factors, such as high-quality colleagues, recognition by bosses and flexible work options beat out