November 23, 2011
Career Advice: Have an "Attitude of Gratitude"
This week, most Americans are gearing up to celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday with loved ones. And many of us participate in the annual Thanksgiving ritual of listing the things we're grateful for: our family, our friends, our homes, and our possessions, for example. We might also list our jobs -- in the sense that they allow us to put food on the table. But does your organization inspire its employees to add anything else to that gratitude list?
Todd Patkin, the author of the new book "Finding Happiness: One Man’s Quest to Beat Depression and Anxiety and -- Finally -- Let the Sunshine In," says that if a company hasn't hasn't made a conscious effort to instill an 'attitude of gratitude' into the organization's culture, it's ignoring a useful and lucrative tool. He adds, "The good news is, there’s no better time than right now at Thanksgiving to start showing your employees or coworkers that you appreciate their efforts and care about them as individuals."
Patkin, who also spent almost two decades as a leader at his family’s auto parts business, explains, "In so many organizations, employees go through their days assuming that their coworkers, and especially their bosses, don’t notice or appreciate all of the hard work that they do," Patkin explains. "And if that’s the way you feel, you will just go through the motions. You won’t have any true motivation or dedication, and your productivity will be mediocre at best."
In a very real way, Patkin says, tapping into the spirit of Thanksgiving can tip the balance between success and growth or stagnation and failure.
Whether you’re a leader who wants to tap into the power of thanks or an employee who wants to start a grassroots movement, read on for Patkin’s how-to tips:
Always say thank you. If you have a job that allows you to twiddle your thumbs, you’re definitely in the minority. Most of us have a deskful of things that should have been done yesterday, and it’s easy to use the excuse that we don’t have time to hand out compliments and thanks like candy. According to Patkin, though, there’s no better way to use your time. Taking just thirty seconds to express gratitude can improve another person’s mood, day, and productivity level. You’ll also be making yourself more approachable and likeable, and over time your team will begin to relate to you more positively.
“Always, always recognize it when someone does something well or does something nice for you,” Patkin advises. “No one ever gets tired of hearing compliments about themselves; in fact, I have found that consistent and heartfelt recognition—when it is deserved, of course—is a better long-term motivator than money."
"Also remember to acknowledge it when someone else gives you a compliment or a thank you—it’s important for others to know that their gratitude is noticed and appreciated in order for it to continue.”
Take intent into account. The fact is, when you’re in a position to make a grand gesture of gratitude, your intentions may be consistently good … but your plans might not always be as successful as you’d hoped. Patkin recalls that as he tried to show his employees just how much he appreciated them, he came up with many show-the-love schemes. He would send high achievers to sports games, highlight various employees in company newsletters, plan lavish company parties, and hold raffles -- to name a few examples. Sometimes those plans were well received; other times they weren’t.
“Inevitably, there will always be someone who says, ‘I wish the boss had sent me to a concert instead of to an NBA game,’ or, ‘Gosh, the food at this party tastes horrible,’” Patkin says. “On a smaller scale, maybe no one eats the cookies you baked and set out in the break room. Remember, these people are selfishly (or maybe even unwittingly) overlooking the thank-you gesture’s intent. I’m bringing this up because you need to remember that despite negative feedback, showing gratitude is always the right thing … and the majority of non-complainers probably loved your gesture. And also, if the shoe is on the other foot and an expression of gratitude that’s aimed at you misses the mark, say thank you for the thought and go on about your day.”
Start being more open. In your average office, communication is far from completely open. No one wants to bug the boss unnecessarily or meddle in a coworker’s projects (unless, perhaps, that person’s intent is negative). This sort of “keep-to-yourself” culture doesn’t tend to foster total understanding or genuine gratitude. Think about it this way: If a leader is dissatisfied with an employee’s performance, that employee will probably sense that he’s not highly appreciated, and he’ll have no reason to work any harder than necessary. The leader’s bad opinion of the employee will continue to grow worse, further eroding the employee’s motivation. It’s a negative cycle, but according to Patkin, it can be easily broken with a little openness and honesty.
“If you’re a leader, constructively tell your people how they can improve their performances,” he says. “If you’re a team member, be proactive about asking your coworkers and boss how you’re doing and how you can get better at your job. And no matter where you fall on your company’s hierarchy, learn how to receive constructive criticism. I have seen this at all levels -- if you don’t accept advice and requests well, you’ll stop getting them and you’ll stop improving … and you’ll essentially be stuck right where you are."
"Showing others that you care enough to either help them or to improve yourself is a form of gratitude in and of itself, because you’re demonstrating that your team is worth the investment of your time, energy, and advice.”
Learn to graciously accept thanks. Yes, giving thanks is a very important building block when it comes to cultivating a gratitude culture in your organization. But it’s not the only one. If you brush off compliments or ignore expressions of gratitude -- even if it’s because you’d rather stay out of the spotlight -- you’ll eventually stop hearing “thanks!” altogether, and you’ll be discouraging the person complimenting you from reaching out to others in the same way.
“Showing gratitude to others in very lavish ways comes naturally to me,” Patkin says, “but accepting compliments for my own performance isn’t as easy. Over the years, though, I have learned that a response like ‘Oh, it was nothing’ tends to make the person thanking you feel foolish for giving you so much praise. This is especially true when a team member reaches out to a leader who’s higher in the organizational pecking order. Whenever someone thanks you or notices something positive about you, try to truly engage with them and let them know that their words have been meaningful.”
Keep the gratitude going outside of your organization. Once you notice that those two important words -- thank you -- are being uttered on a regular basis in your office, make an effort to extend them beyond the people on your payroll. Thank your customers or the people you serve for choosing your organization, and for trusting your team with their money, health, products, or publicity -- to name a few examples. This is something that many clients don’t hear, so when they do, their loyalty to your company is strengthened.
“A simple ‘Thank you for your business’ is easy and free, and there’s no excuse not to make use of this tool. You might also consider offering discounts, coupons, or promotions to show customer appreciation. Especially in a tough economy, it’s vital to let those whom you serve know how much they mean to you so that they don’t take their business elsewhere. I used to encourage my store managers to treat their clients like kings -- I’d ask them to write thank-you notes after big sales and to send birthday cards to loyal customers, for example. One year, we even rented an ice cream truck to visit all of our best customers so that they could have a free frozen treat on a hot day. Over time, this strategy of appreciation brought us more business and it caused our customers to be less price-conscious.”
Use gratitude to reinforce stellar performances. No, your employees and/or coworkers are not pets. Remember, though, that just as a Labrador Retriever will learn to repeat or refrain from a behavior because she is given a treat, a worker will do the same thing based on his boss’s feedback. Using gratitude to shape your team’s habits and priorities can be every bit as valuable as training programs and industry conferences … at a fraction of the time and cost.
“Whenever I saw an employee going out of her way to make sure that the product a client purchased was the best possible value, I thanked her for doing it,” Patkin recalls. “If a store manager made a mistake and came clean to me about it, I thanked him for that, too. Never forget that whatever you acknowledge positively will be repeated.”
How do you show gratitude at work -- as a manager or as an employee? Share your story in the Comments section.
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Thank you for the article. It is a real nice read at the right time. Work place is not where we are at our sweetest best. We think we are the ones with pressure and targets. Thinking grass is greener on the other side does not help our ego.
We need to stop and analyze sometime see from fellow colleagues perspective.
Posted by: chartered accountant glasgow | Nov 23, 2011 11:49:37 AM
This week I e-mailed a co-worker to thank him for his assistance last week while I was snowed under. I cc'd our boss. It is review time here. I have received many such e-mails over the years and written them. Normally they can be used in the performance review as an indicator of performance. However his response to my e-mail was rather under-whelming. He basically said "Meh. It's just my job." I felt like my taking time to thank him, and the general reaching out on my part was quite minimized. So I am writing this to say wake up corporate peeps! Raise your level of expectation, thank others for helping you whether it's their job or not, and when (and if) you are thanked, do not minimize it but rather appreciate the fact that someone cared enough to thank you instead of taking you for granted. How difficult is this? It's not, and it can go a long way toward maintaining positive relationships in the workplace.
Posted by: ruth | Nov 23, 2011 12:11:09 PM
Great article! This is the right kind of attitude to have as we approach the holiday season. Thanks for sharing!
Posted by: new supervisor training charlotte | Nov 28, 2011 2:11:03 PM
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