Managing Expectations in Terms of Timing for the Job Search

This experience has been rattling around my brain for a week or so: I encountered three of my fellow former colleagues who are equally as unemployed as I am (laid off the same day), and I asked the routine, “How’s the job search going?” Surprisingly, each one of them expressed anxiety and extreme frustration in not having landed a new position within 5 weeks of being laid off. It had never even occurred to me I would expect to be employed that fast again. Yet, almost to a T, each one of these presently unemployed colleagues voiced the same expectation. I was wondering why.

I had heard somewhere in my early stages of ramping up my resume and refreshing my interviewing skill sets that it would take anywhere from 4 to 6 months to land a comparable position. Additionally, I learned in that same conversation that even in good economic times, landing an equivalent new professional home takes 4 to 6 months. This statistic, based on actual reemployment data, resonated with me and I tucked it away in the back of my brain as a security blanket. 

 

Fortunately, I’ve always listened to the financial experts (not a strength of mine) who say that 6 months of salary saved is the minimum to have in case you hit turbulent waters. About 5 years ago, when I purchased a home, my anxiety meter went through the roof because my 6 months of savings wasn’t banked. I worked like crazy to restore my 6-month financial blanket, which coincides roughly with my expectations for securing a new position.

So back to my former colleagues and their frustrations at not being reemployed almost instantly. I asked them a few questions without getting too personal about their financial well-beings. As I peeked under the covers of their reemployment expectations, I found that each of them was fundamentally annoyed about not being attached to a work routine. Their expectations for quick reemployment were exacerbated by their needs to have a structured daily life. It seems perhaps they vested too much of their beings into their work life and were having withdrawal symptoms. On the other hand, perhaps my longer-term expectation is not anxiety-inducing enough to put my job search into turbo mode? 

As with most work/life issues, there is always the common desire to achieve a balance. In terms of managing the expectations for a job search, you need to find a happy place so you are not driven crazy by undue worries. 

Another challenge when it comes to managing job search expectations is your greater circle of family and friends. Here’s where I have had some amusing conversations. In particular, my more senior female friends (60s and 70s) are very worried for me. (Perhaps they take that burden on for me, thus freeing up my energies to be positive?) On a monthly basis, I meet with this circle of ladies for book club. I enjoy these senior ladies’ company and always learn so much from them. I always have a funny story to bring home about the books for my boys, so they also see/learn the skill that reading brings great pleasure and fun.

I had a book club meeting about 3 days after I was laid off and mentioned my situation to these friends. At the next month’s meeting, many of them looked at me with soulful sad eyes and asked in quavering voices, “Did you find a new job?” I gently shared my outlook, prospects and rationale as to why I believe my expectation of landing a new position will take 4 to 6 months. Then they all felt better, and so did I.

How do you manage expectations for yourself and others? What approaches work best for you and why?
 

Have you been laid off? Check out these resources:

 

•      "The Layoff Survival Kit"

•      "Bouncing Back After Being Laid Off"

•      "Laid Off? Six Steps to Manage Your Finances"

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