How to Handle the Most Frequently Noted Misconception About Being Unemployed

Arghhhh! OK, I feel better.

Yes, it is frustrating to be unemployed! However, even slightly more frustrating is the so-very-frequent mention by well-meaning friends and family: "Oh, now that you are unemployed, you have more time to do x, y or z.” So totally off the mark! In fact, I am getting less sleep per day given the multitude of tasks I do for my job search. Sleep is then the priority after the fundamentals of caring for my young boys, Owen and Evan, is done as well as the normal household routine. Job searching takes all the hours I’ve constructed for my daily duties; therefore no time is left over for more of x, y or z.

So I am struggling with the perfect answer to people’s misconception that I have more time. Also, I am always pondering how to turn these remarks from friends and family into a proactive dialogue to have them further engaged in my job quest. For example, dear friends invited me recently to their beach home for the weekend with the kiddies in order to relax in a different setting. They went on to say, “Well, since you are not working, you can drive back really late on Sunday night and rest Monday.” Actually, resting on Mondays is not an option. I jump-start every week crisply Monday morning with a whole planned calendar of executables and target goals to be accomplished. I proceeded to show my friend my daily logbook of scheduled tasks to highlight the point practically. This physical interaction then prompted my friend to recite a quick list of “oh yeah, contact so-and-so and so-and-so about the openings at these firms.” In short, disproving the misconception and showing why I didn’t have more time while being unemployed resulted in a few more possible job avenues to pursue.

I have used my physical job search logbook to keep myself focused and on track. It is almost my bible that I carry everywhere with me. For every little tidbit of job info, I make a notation under that day’s activities. It helps me address the statements from my friends about having more time to run errands, volunteer for charities or do more sports in a physical way.

And that’s the biggest rub for me -- having more time for sports. My running club buddies can’t seem to understand why I am not ramping up my running distances. They think I could target a marathon! “Of course, Jane, you have all the time in the world now that you are unemployed.” HA! I would really be thrilled to have a solid hour plus to really run longer distances, but that would steal time away from all the hours of the job search. I cap myself now at a half hour or a 5K run/jog these days. That is a balance that works for me despite my having to explain to my jogging friends that I would welcome the discipline of training for a marathon, but it just is not the time for me to do that this year.

As a quick reality check, I went back through my logbook of job search-related tasks. I note by each action item a check when I ticked off a completed task and a note if it needs to be revisited. While I could do these same actions on a mobile device, something about the physical book commands more presence when reviewing it with friends and family. The logbook is also my guilt-meter in egging myself on to do even a little bit more for my job search. The analogy of pushing yourself the extra mile in running applies to the employment-seeking undertakings. The last time I had some free time or extra time was under the entry labeled 4/19-Sunday. It simply reads: REST.

How do you deal with this misconception of having more time since becoming unemployed?

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