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March 19, 2009
The Recession’s Been Tough on Working Moms
I came back to work after three months of maternity leave last April 1, and it’s no joke that I felt conflicted. I was coming back on a compressed schedule, so my son would go to day care only two days a week. But it was still difficult leaving him in someone else’s hands, not to mention the end of maternity leave. While those three months of not working were no vacation, I needed the time to bond with my son and learn how to take care of him. Plus, I had a difficult time, so I needed to recover, too.
So when I read this article about new moms going back to work early because their partners got laid off, I got mad. Three months sounds like an eternity, but as any mom can tell you, it goes by quickly. And while the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) guarantees you will get your job back if you’re gone for three months, it doesn’t apply if your employer has fewer than 50 workers or if you’ve been employed there less than a year. It also doesn’t guarantee you’ll get paid -- only that you’ll have an equivalent job to return to.
So how does a working mom, whether willing or unwilling, find balance between work and family? These articles for working mothers offer important tips. And if you have insights on the eternal struggle -- and juggle -- of being a working mom, share them with your fellow moms (and dads) in the comments below.
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Posted by Christine on March 19, 2009 at 01:57 PM | Permalink | Comments (24) | TrackBack (0)
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Comments
At least these new moms had 3 motnhs to recover before going backt to work. I went back to work on the third day of child birth and this was after having a very difficult prenancy. There was no option other then to place my baby in the daycare at that age left no time for bonding with the child.
So count yourself and these new moms as being lucky to be with the child. You want to read my story go to my site:
www.immigrationcanadascam.com
Posted by: Nesa | Mar 31, 2009 6:54:53 AM
Oh, waaahhh! Enough already. You chose to have a baby, now suck it up. I'm divorced, so that whole "laid-off partner" stuff is irrelevant - I'm my sole support. No whining allowed when it's all on your shoulders and there is no one there to be supportive of YOU. Face it, lady, this recession is tough on EVERYBODY and you are not feeling any more negative effects than anyone else. Your post-partum condition is already getting you plenty of attention, so let it go, already.
Posted by: Sick of "Working Moms" | Mar 31, 2009 4:45:14 PM
Working moms - what about us that never had kids. We have to do your workload and ours with no extra pay or benefits. Now a days
you can work from home. To our co-worker who had her second and was loggin in from the hospital bed - and only took two weeks off. She is tough!
Posted by: Jodi | Mar 31, 2009 5:10:58 PM
My husband has been without a job for the past 3 years, due to an auto accident that has left him partially disabled. We have been limping along on my salary alone until this past September, when I lost my job. Now we have to survive on my unemployment payments only. I have been breaking my back networking with people, sending out my resumes, talking on the phone to potential contacts, smiling, smiling, smiling..... until my face wants to break. This economy has/is going to affect a lot of people.
Posted by: Kat | Mar 31, 2009 5:52:41 PM
Wow. That's really mean 'sick of working moms.' I'm not a parent and that's cutting pretty low. I would say kudos to you for toughing it out being a single parent, but ratting on another person's issues over maternity leave is immature. Rather, you too, should have been treated as new mothers in Europe are treated, regardless of presence of a supporting partner. Women there get a paid maternity leave of up to six months (I'm not sure, however, if that applies to a small company) and are guaranteed their job upon return. As much as this country touts supporting of families, they don't really support them. I am a single, parentless woman and I work for a small company that doesn't have to provide insurance. So, I understand what it's like to work for a small business that doesn't support medical leave. They would give an employee her job back once she returned, but they wouldn't have to pay her in the interim. But, I don't go onto forums and rant at people that have insurance problems when they work for bigger companies and make more money than I do. Life is far too short for that. My opinion on this issue regardless is that American companies need to truly support women during pregnancy, as well as all employees during medical leave.
Posted by: Brielle | Mar 31, 2009 9:16:13 PM
Just because you may be having a harder time doesn't mean that it's ok to slam others. There is no solid legal support system in the US for during pregnancy and for new mothers. We should all be working to change the laws to ensure appropriate support.
Who's ranked world wide as #1 in maternity support? FRANCE. Look into it. They do a beautiful job of understanding *all* the needs of new mothers including housework help.
Let's be more supportive of each other and hopefully future moms won't have to suffer the same way.
Posted by: Compassionate | Apr 1, 2009 7:21:09 AM
It is tough leaving a new baby. I was on bedrest for 3 1/2 months, and then post-maternity leave for another 6 weeks. It was hard to leave my baby. I was fortunate that my mom was able to take care of my baby. Although it is hard to leave that tiny newborn, instead of focusing on what you don't have, just make the most of the time you do have with your baby. I would put the baby in a bouncer or playpen near where I was folding laundry or cleaning the kitchen, etc. and spend lots of time talking to them and interacting. Also, I nursed both of my kids for a year while being a working mom. It was a very special bonding experience. You may miss some of the special "firsts", but what matters is that you are ther in the long run. Don't miss the wonderful moments that you do have with your baby by regretting what you are missing. Lots of babies have working moms and adjust just perfectly. My kids are now 8 & 10 and are awesome kids! Much, much more so that the kids of stay at home moms. They are independent and well-balanced. Some of their friends, even at 8 & 10, will not get too far away from their mother's laps. It's hard for you to be away from your baby, but your baby will be just fine as long as you find quality day care and you make sure the time you do spend with your baby is quality time. Nothing can ever replace Mom! Day care, is just that, day care. Not Mom care!
Posted by: KL | Apr 1, 2009 7:24:26 AM
Really!!! Enough is enough!!! Either you want to work or you don't, just like you want a baby or you don't. The world doesn't hold it's breath because you decided you wanted to have a child. You can't have everything. Deal with it!!!
Posted by: Brooklynbobby | Apr 1, 2009 8:45:48 AM
I think the problem with working mothers is the self-righteous attitude some of them seem to adopt. Granted, they've added to the Social Security contributions of a later generation but that doesn't mean their child takes precedence over everything else. If you are the only means of support you must plan and plan often. Sometimes illness or emergencies won't allow you to do that but you still need to be prepared by letting co-workers know before hand what should be done or how something should be handled if you can't make it in.
I have seen some Mommies act like it is the end of the world when their child has a cold. I had my child in my late 30's so I witnessed how badly some peoples' work ethics were and how stupid they seemed to be about priorities before I had the opportunity to join the ranks. Again, if you have a child I feel that planning and managing are both key to surviving in the work force and will help your co-workers feel that you really are committed to the job.
Posted by: Sarah | Apr 1, 2009 8:49:40 AM
WOW! Wow! No wonder why you are divorced! Someone too cranky all the time. I would leave you too! Maybe if you had learned to play nice with your partner (and probably your family), you would be someone people could turn to and lean on and maybe even have a conversation with. So wipe that chip off your shoulder, take on a therapist, smile and love life.
Posted by: Marie | Apr 1, 2009 9:23:14 AM
I am a single mom and cancer survivor and am blessed to have a job. I recieve no support at all from my child's father. I am very proud of myself for how well I have managed to take care of my child and provide her with what she needs. It is very hard to be mom and dad, so to speak. I don't think there is a single person not feeling pressure and stress from the problems with the economy right now. It is hard on everyone - married with one working partner, married with two working partners, single parents with a single income, single parents working multiple jobs or even single parents recieving support from the child's other parent. I think that this is the perfect opportunity for us to embrace our fellow human beings and show them support, understanding, empathy and love. Maybe if we took the approach of caring for and about each other in this difficult time, we can all come out of this in a better place than if we are rude and unkind to others and dismiss thier feelings.
Posted by: Be Nice | Apr 1, 2009 11:05:03 AM
I can't believe these posts are so insensitive. I returned to work after only 6 weeks of my son being born. That time was not enough, as he had complications, and we spent nearly a month of that time in the hospital. I returned to work because i had to pay the bills. . . but still feel guilty to this day (2 yrs later). Soon after returning to work, I was diagnosed with post-partum depression, which I think may have been triggered due to my return, lack of sleep, and high anxiety over bills, etc. Physically, it may not show, but mothers definitely need more time to recover and bond with their child than is currently "socially acceptable."
Posted by: Mommy | Apr 1, 2009 12:37:11 PM
The recession is affecting everyone. I am sorry that you didn't have time to bond with your child, but we as Mothers have to do what we got to do. I am married and even though he gets home before I do, I still pick up the kids from school, grocery store, then come home and cook. So as a mother its expected of us. Actually we are the Head Of the Households nowadays.
Posted by: Mae Lee | Apr 1, 2009 7:45:52 PM
I have recently received a number of Cv's and resumes for mothers looking to return back into the workforce for the exact reason of supporting the household finances. Sadly what has been seen is the demise of part-time jobs due to the recession so many returners to work are now faced with even less work / life balance options.
Posted by: Roland | Apr 2, 2009 2:01:07 AM
Maybe they should have thought about the costs before having the child. I completely agree with "sick of 'working moms'" and have no sympathy for people that never made contingency plans for these economic downturns. I answer the phones for the health insurance industry and it astounds me the number of people that get upset when we won't pay for the birth of their child (maybe 8-12k without any insurance), but then can't afford the 100-200 a month price we quote for them, where is their logic? If you can't take care of yourself, you shouldn't burden the tax payers to pay for the children you WANT but cannot afford. It's not a secret that mother's don't want to go back to work after having children - suck it up, you knew what would happen going in to childbirth!
Posted by: midnightpenguin | Apr 2, 2009 9:43:47 AM
I believe there is to much whining where is the cheese, Think of the kids first You are the ones who made these choices make better choices.How would you like to be a mother in Iraq or Afganistan telling your kids to put down the gun and go to school. I do think there is choices to make,Will my kid eat with a silver spoon or a spork.It's up to you. The poor pity me crap doesn't pay the bills.You live in the best country in the world and can be anything you have the guts to go for,Go For It!
Posted by: Opie | Apr 2, 2009 11:03:27 AM
The well-heeled, well-connected and well-to-do in our society (and their working class apologists, of which there are clearly a few posting here) have held sway long enough. When will Americans wake up and realize that capital alone doesn't produce a product or service, and they need our labor AT LEAST AS MUCH as we need their money in return for it? Home of the Brave, my eye.... the rank & file in this country are weak as water and ignorant as a fencepost. Organize for fair salaries and working conditions, start your own business, or shut up already. We only get what we ask for.
Posted by: Abracadaver | Apr 2, 2009 1:18:36 PM
I think there is no right anser. whatever you do at some point of time it will feel so wrong or so right!I was working for a big multinational company with no overtime policy. The average work was 60-65 hours a week and 70+ hrs for monthly closing. In this economy I was like suck it up and take it but the probblem arise when my husband was out of town and I was doing 50 hrs a week it was considered as performance issue. There is no way I can prove it that now we are doing what is essentially 1 &1/2 persons job and everybody who matters in the co. is so use to it that anything less than that like working as much as 1 & 1/4 person is also not acceptable. And for Moms its double bummer cz you have to do grocery, cleaning and look after house the studies part of the kid or yourself too.Where is Live Love Life part in it? Or are Moms not eligible for it?
Posted by: Anuradha | Apr 3, 2009 10:27:48 AM
It is hard leaving a child in a day care. He/she needs nurture and support from mom to grow properly in mind and body. Some mothers don’t want to nurture their children. These mothers consider them an inconvenience and are glad to drop them off at day care. Other mothers are grateful for the precious gift of a child and realize how lucky they are to have the little one in their life. Even if you are a mother who truly loves their child, you have to do what is necessary to survive in this world and hopefully prosper. I have to work to pay for a mortgage, heat, hot water, electricity, clothing, food, car loan, school, etc. I would speak more on the subject of day care facilities and horror stories about them, but that is off topic. I work in a department where most employees are male. All who have children do not take time off for them. They have wives that stay home. Management is intolerant at best of a female taking time off for any reason other than an actual vacation. Day cares and schools do not like children to stay if they are sick and some schools will manufacture a temperature to send a child home. There is no one else to care for my child when she is sent home.
Posted by: Mommy of A | Apr 3, 2009 1:03:57 PM
I have had 4 sons and have worked full-time for 24 years. They all range in age from 10-20. ( 1st three 20, 18, 16). I took off 5 months and worked 3 9-hour days for the remaining 7 months with the first two. The third - took 4 months went back full-time. 4th, my husband lost his job and I had to return in 11 weeks. It was VERY hard to balance all of it. Thank God my mother lived in the same town. It was the most difficult thing I have ever down. I felt like I was having a mini-nervous break down for a good 5 years. The oldest being ADD/ADHD also. I was fortunate to graduate college and get a job with Federal gov't who has been great with leave, etc...I also found a sense of "value-added" and self-satisfaction which has enabled me to love my boys, spend quality time with them, and they respect my career because they have reaped the benefits...I believe when you feel good about yourself and what you do you can tackle anything. I don't think I will be able to work forever at this pace though, and I do see this as the difference between my mom's generation and mine. They looked so young at 50-59, where I am mentally and physically exhausted all the time....I thank God for pushing me to my limits and I believe- Can't is not an option. I believe in FATE, it is what it is. It may be hard, but you can do it...You may NOT do it perfect. You may not get to everything on the agenda, but it usually not a life and death situation. We all seem to get done what needs to get done somehow....My husband was very helpful in the early days, but has gotten complacent and I feel bad for the last son, he does not have the energy he had with the first three.
Posted by: Maggie | Apr 3, 2009 10:51:52 PM
Oh I only wish I could have had 6 weeks to stay home and not work after having my last child. I gave birth saturday morning, left the hospital 12 hours later and stopped by the office to pick up work on the way home. I was back to the office full time by monday, I did however cut my hours from 80-90 a week to 60-70.
Posted by: Mom24kids | Apr 4, 2009 7:17:39 PM
After going through all your comments, I have come to the conclusion that there are wise as well as crazy mothers
Posted by: Vanessa | Jun 1, 2009 12:08:30 AM
Some are also "Hocky" Moms.
Posted by: Vanessa | Jun 1, 2009 12:12:06 AM
this is for "sick of working moms", and "brooklynbobby", "bobby" if you are a male, then you don't have a clue, if you're a female, I feel sorry for your kid(s). If you're a dad, I STILL feel sorry for your kids. I come from NYC, and I am tough as nails. I worked on and off since my son was born, depending on our family's needs. I had the privilege of helping out my brother and his wife, by being a nanny for their newborn daughter until she was five after I retired at 40 from one career, and stayed with her and my four-year old full-time. I got paid for it too. I was at their place all week, 8-6.
As for "sick-of-working moms", your problems, and your life-style, is not anyone else's. Whether you are divorced or not, leaving your child is never easy. I left my son with his dad, I worked three days, he worked four...My spouse now is disabled and home with our sons all the time. He has Multiple Sclerosis. My son is thirteen, his is 17,they're none-the-worse for wear both times, but, unless your last name is "yates", no one cares for your child like you.
Posted by: thedutchess | Jun 12, 2009 9:42:28 AM
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