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January 30, 2007
Too Old to Parent? Too Old to Work?
After celebrating my son’s first birthday this weekend, my ears perked up yesterday when the TV mentioned the oldest woman to ever give birth.
Here’s the story: Carmela Bousada, who turned 67 this month, went to California to get in vitro fertilization treatments. She lied about her age, saying she was 53, to begin the treatments two years ago. She gave birth to twin boys on December 29. The clinic she went to would not treat women over 55. According to the article, when asked how old is too old, “Dr. Richard J. Paulson, director of the Fertility Clinic at the University of Southern California, said the easier determination is the physiological one. Women over 50 face an increased risk of pregnancy complications, such as diabetes and high blood pressure.”
As a mom, sometimes I feel old at less than half this woman’s age. My husband and I constantly do the calculations of how old we’ll be when our son graduates high school, graduates college, gets married, etc.
This news story also reminded me of an article we recently ran on Monster: "How Old Is Too Old?" Of course, we’re talking about working. And despite the aging population, the article says, “these ‘older old’ workers are still the exception rather than the rule. The reality, says AARP strategic policy advisor Sara Rix, is that most people 75 and over are no longer in the workforce. They are not physically incapable of handling their jobs, she notes. Rather, their interests and needs change. Some leave the workforce voluntarily. Others face mandatory retirement rules. And some, of course, fall victim to age discrimination.”
I don’t know if Carmela Bousada is too old to parent her newborn twins, but I don’t think having a newborn at 67 will be the right choice for me. Similarly, choosing how long to stay in the workforce is a personal decision. Here are some resources, if you decide these choices might be right for you:
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Posted by Norma on January 30, 2007 at 01:21 PM in Current Events | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBack (1)
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Comments
Commenting on the woman who had twins at 67, I say "good luck with that". At least the twins will have each other to comfort when they lay their mother to rest. She will be 85 years old when the kids graduate from High School! Does she have resources? I read she had to sell her house to finance the fertility treatment, so where did they go upon birth? A homeless shelter? There comes a point when a prospective parent should think more about the child than their wants. There's an old saying that a parent should always ask themselves when parenting, "Am I doing this because it is good for the child or am I doing this because it is something I want". This question can be applied to everything from waking a baby to change their diapers to taking a kid out for cheap fast food. Jennifer-icerinkqueen
Posted by: Jennifer | Jan 31, 2007 10:50:58 AM
The increased longevity of Americans is creating unexpected decisions for the maturing population. Baby Boomers are now faced with the choice of retiring at the age their parents did, only to live for thirty or forty more years. This is great provided you have managed to save a sizable nest egg, but not so great if you are going to live for the last half of your long life pinching pennies.
I am younger than most Boomers, but feel the corporate world's preference for younger workers, yet I know that I have much more to contribute than someone who is wet behind the ears. I know how to get work done with quality, yet in a timely manner, because I don't have to wast time "re-inventing the wheel."
It is my hope that corporations will grow in awareness of the value of mature, experienced workers and be more eager to keep us on the payroll.
Technology too, is providing opportunities that previous generations never had before; such as parenting after 50, and now it appears after 60.
While I think it is a good idea to continue working as long as you are able, I feel it is not such a good idea to have a child after you are past a certain age. Remember, if you have a child at 55, you will be 75 when your child is in college, an you may possibly be in a nursing home before your first grandchild is born. You must ask yourself; "is this fair to my child?" I would rather see someone who has baby longings after a "certain age" work with children at a church or daycare center than risk leaving your own child high and dry when they need you most.
Posted by: Merry Kanawyer Clingen | Jan 31, 2007 12:03:44 PM
I had older parents and I wouldn't change it for the world! The wisdom, compassion and experience they offered me is far more valuble than having "young" parents with their insecurities, fears and ignorance. My husband's mother was 50 when he was born and felt so blessed to have a son and grandsoe in one! He is the most understanding and loving person you'll ever meet. THIS is the kind of legacy to leave children with.
Posted by: susie | Apr 5, 2007 5:21:15 PM
Hi,
I had a bio daughter when I was 44 and adopted a little boy of 11mths when I was 50. We are all very happy and my children are thriving. I do worry tho about the future, and what will happen to them when I get really old; whether they will be without parents in young adulthood and what that will mean to them. Maybe I was wrong to do it, but I love them with all my heart and wanted them so much. I do believe as well that the quality of time we spend together is more imprortant than the quantity. But many people do not think that, and it scares me sometimes..........
Posted by: sue shaw | Jan 10, 2008 9:23:45 AM
