Voice Mail Revelations

I have a strange obsession with voice mail greetings. Living in a world where live conversation is hard to come by, I’ve found you can learn a lot about a person from their voice mail message. It’s funny what a five-second greeting can reveal about your personality. Here are a few I’ve recently heard that made me smile:

• This one is delivered in a crisp voice, speaking slowly and enunciating every syllable: "You have reached Simon Jones. Please listen to this message in its entirety. Today is Monday March 7th, and I am in the office today. I am currently on a conference call until 2 p.m., but please leave me a message and I will get back to you right away. If it is important, please contact me on my cell phone, 555-5555. If you cannot reach me, please contact Jim Smith at 333-3333.Thank you." He works in accounting and must change his voice mail a few times a day.

• Imagine a grandiose voice, with the speaker sounding like he’s holding a megaphone: "Helloooo, you have reached Allan Jenkins. I’m sorry I missed your call. Please feel free to leave me a message, and I will be sure to get back to you as soon as possible. Thanks for calling, and have a Monster of a day!!" This person works in sales and sounds like he could sell furnaces to Floridians.

• In a quiet, soft voice, speaking very fast: "Hello, you’ve reached Marcie. I am unavailable. Please leave a message." She works in technology and as you can imagine, is pretty shy.

The names have been changed above to protect the hilarious, and yes, I only had to prank their voice mails a few times. It’s good to keep in mind our voice mail messages and phone etiquette are sometimes the only first impression we have at the office, so coming across as professional is pretty important. Then at home, you can make it interesting and leave fun greetings for those people who already know you’re a little nuts.

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